(note...Its actually still the 23rd, but its so close to midnight I'm calling it Christmas Eve...)      So. How are you all this fine white holiday season? Well its white here in E-burg anyway. I'm pretty good. Believe it or not. Just got back from an evening at DJ & Leo's place...yeah, it was the ultimate Christmas event... Beer, Chili, and The Skulls on VHS. Hehe, no, it wasn't as bad as all that. The Skulls was marginally better than I would have thought, then again, it did star that Dawson's Creek guy and *blech* on him...ooh, except in Cruel Intentions! He was pretty funny as a gay friend of Sebastian. Doo Doo Doo...I'm a little hyper right now. A few minutes ago my uncle (make that my mother's cousin who I've just always known as Uncle) Clark and my great aunt Pearl (who never smoked a second in her life and yet just a year or two ago underwent surgery to have her larynx removed due to cancer...goes to show you that you just can't win I guess :P Ever weirder is that she refuses to use an electronic voice box and therefore has a weird gaping hole in her throat that moves eeriely when she tries to speak) were here. He's such a nut :) But then again my whole family (at least on my darling Mum's side) is a riot that way. Anyway, the point of this raving is that he brought up his eldest son, Donny. Who I used to be really good friends with (you jump, I jump right?...and then we did...into a river...which was running sort of fast...and stupid Josie who can barely swim :P). He just recently joined the Air Force. I remember talking about it late one night up at the Taneum (our family's property where our reunion is held annually). Its nice to know that he's doing something with his life. I hope he's enjoying it...      Okay, but moving on. Thinking about that night with Donny reminded me of the summers I spent with him and my best friend (at the time....well, from 4th grade until the end of High School), Shannon. And so I came around to Shannon. Oddly enough, after months of non-communication, I finally tried to get ahold of her again. I talked to her dad for awhile, he sounds good... she hasn't called me back yet. But c'est la vie...this time the ball is in her court. I know I made some harsh judgements in the past, but I think that the years we spent, as close as we were, are too much to let slip away the way we have been... Ugh.      I'm a paradox I think...oxy moron? Something like that. Its too late to think (being almost 1 a.m. now...I guess I let my attention slip to the bad horror movie on cable behind me). Grr. So much for being an English major. ANYway, the point being that I'm contradicting myself. On one hand, I hate to be alone. On the other, I like to be. Its a strange balance and I guess I'm trying to figure out how to find a common ground. I know for sure, however, one thing that would help sway the judges *winks* hehe...if my tall friend could magically appear here tonight, I could probably die a happy woman. Except, of course, that I never want to die.      I know I'm rambling. But I don't think I ever want to die... Immortality is well suited to a girl like me. Yup. One who loves to watch history, one who loves to know, to see, to view... Yeah. I could see watching the world spin on for generations, to see what we do, what is done to us, what the limitless imagination of the human mind can accomplish... and of course to see how it all ends. Because I suppose one day, it has to. I remember reading onmore than one occasion, how people wouldn't want to live forever, because they'd ave to watch those they loved die... And I could see how that might be. But those who live to be 80, 90, 100...they're going to have to watch it anyway. And it isn't easy. But I think that if I could take one person with me, and just watch...just observe, I could be happy. As long as I wasn't completely alone.      You know, I should be writing instead of doing this. But o'well. Its really down to a matter of days before deadline and I know I won't get much done Monday, or for New Year's Eve...so I NEED to get to work. Grr. *rawr* *whew* Okay okay, I'm going...besides, my contact is killing me, time to take it out. Night night and Merry Christmas from Josie and Juno (who is doing her retarded little silent meow right now as she tries to walk on the keyboard...she prolly thinks I'm talking to Adrian again...nothing worse than a jealous pus- er, Cat...hehe...sorry ;P hehe)