Episode 2; Back In The Red (#2)


    This episode opens with Captain Hollister's "captain's log" recapping the previous episode. Then Rimmer, with his extra-long salute, enters the office and does some serious brown-nosing. First he gives Hollister a report on new safety procedures concerning Drive Plate repairs, a muffin just like his wife used to make (commemorating the Captain's anniversary), and some *ahem* ointment for a little problem the Captain seems to experience. Oh-so impressed with Rimmer's sudden competency, Hollister has him lick & seal and envelope, which invites Arnie to a little supper for up & coming people on Friday. "Its black tie,"Hollister says. "I'd eat Thai, Chinese, whatever. But I'd prefer if it weren't black. Could I maybe get mine medium rare?" Gee...somehow I was reminded of Gazpacho Soup ;P
    A doctor, busy scribbling on his tablet, tell his incoming patient to strip behind the the curtain. When the patient emerges, we find its a nekkid Kryten. Then the Doc tells him to fill up a little portable urinal and when Krytie returns, he's got it filled with flowers. Next, while taking Kryten's blood pressure, the doctor inadvertently blows his hand across the medi-bay, and finally, as Kryten is on his back with his feet in stirrups, the doctor uses a drill to remove three bolts from between Kryten's legs...suddenly Kryten's head rolls off the table and down the hall. Later, the mechanoid tells Kochanski of his misfortunes. He was classified a woman due to a lack of a penis. When he tells her of his imminant restoration of factory settings, Kochanski tells him he must refuse. Kryten can't, they are his superiors and her advice is to picture them on the toilet.
    The hearing begins, and after some group whispering (because the Cat saw a lot of TV where they did it), the four of them (Lister, Cat, Kryten, and Kochanski) give their permission to the use of psychotropic drugs in the trial. Then they are asked to sign a consent form and seal it in an envelope. A while later Rimmer visits Lister in his holding pen (different than the cell we've already seen). Good ol' Arn reports that operation GROPE (that is, Get Rimmer Officer-hood, Power & Emminence), is going full-force. When Lister asks for help escaping, as they agreed, Rimmer tells him that his promise meant nothing, especially now that he has not only the disc, but the two positive virii. Lister is amazed, and takes the tubes for a brief second, before Rimmer grabs them and leaves. With just a drop of the luck virus, Dave is able to punch in the override codes for his bonds and the door in order to escape.
    Kryten, when asked by a group of officers, if he has decided to a) keep her personality and stand trial with his friends, or b) be reset to factory specifications. Following Kochanski's direction, Krytie takes the officers hostage, leads them to a bathroom, forces them to take down their pants and sit on a toilet. Then he tells them his answer is no, directly followed by two large guards breaking into the room and sedating him. Meanwhile, Lister and Kochanski have broken out of their cells are are sneaking into a life. He tells her of his ingenius use of the Luck Virus, and she says its too bad he didn't do the same with Sexual Magnetism...cue the rock music and Khristine is all over Dave ;) Then the Luck Virus cured the S.M. virus and again Lister got nothing...Kryten, inside a strange booth, is being systematically stripped of the emotions he worked so hard to develop. When the scientist removes him from the program that will restore his former self (the CG person in the program played by Robert Llewellyn) Kryten tell her he has no knowledge of human emotions and when asked for menial chore performances, does so with pleasure. "Excellent..."
    Just before entering the Captain's meeting Rimmer takes a nice long swig of the Sexual Magnetism Virus and as he passes loads of beautemous ladies, they all seem to scream "Take me now Ace!" (silently of course). There are a number of women at the dinner party, all of whom look at Arnold as if he were a juicy side of beef instead of a flared-nostril, brillo-headed smegger. One by one they get "helped" as they check on the coffee & the mints with him. *whew* The Captain watches a bit amusedly, but mostly with great annoyance...As Rimmer services, er...serves coffee, Kochanski, Lister & The Cat search out Kryten, who doesn't recognize them. They duck into a small room and the Cat finds disguises; a pair of dentures, a mop head, and dopey walk. Who are they? The Dibbley Family. Oy Vey! While the 3 are questioned by security who are searching for them, Kryten enters the room and after looking at Dwayne, is pleasantly corrupted again...Rimmer, still at the party and looking quite frazzled, finds that the Captain has his buddies in an AR Suite, their thoughts being played out and recorded via psychotropic drugs. Worried that Lister will let the details of their "agreement" slip, he rushes off to the AR Room, stopping along the way to use anesthetics to halt his sexual appetite. Finally, four Dibbleys (Kryten included) step out of the lab room in line, and begin their escape (followed by two Skutters who are also disguised as Dibbleys).


    Overall? Funny episode, especially if you like the Dibbley character :) The SM Virus provides more laughs...especially with Hollister's reaction to finding out that it exists. Its always cool to see Robert L.'s cameo appearances in these things, and the hair on this guy was funny enough...then you add the face and voice and there's no choice but to spit your soda across the room. ;) Not that I'd do that. Yeah. Anyway...
This episode? Four of Five Stars!

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