Episode 5: Krytie TV


    Opens with Kryten in the Women's Wing...still. Sad country-western song about how hard it is to be a woman floats over images of Krytie showering with the women, exercizing...etc. Flash to Lister and Rimmer who get their Post...an actual wooden post to repair Lister's bed...oh yeah, and the mail. Rimmer has no luck; he wins a vacation *and* the lottery...but he's three million years into deep space and can't redeem his prizes! It truly does suck to be him =) Peterson, Lister's friend, tells him that he's found Lister's guitar in the wreckage and is having it sent up. Rimmer gets pissed...he, and rightly so, *hates* Lister's playing...*shudder* The Om Song...hehe. When the guitar does arrive, it has no strings and Rimmer is smug,"I feel like a guy who jumps out a plane with no parachute and lands in the hot tub at Playboy Mansion!" In the other mail, Lister finds his case will be appealed if he maintains a record of good behavior. Rimmer is glad to hear that Lister's success would mean similar success for other inmate in Dave's position...
    On the ship after mission, Kryten complains about showering with the ladies and the guys try to convince him to use his optical receptors to tape a bit o' honey for them! Rimmer objects...then changes his mind...then returns to objection again when he remembers their appeal. Kryten is digusted with his fellow men and returns to his "sisters". Soon they stand in the meeting room for their cell block where the Warden, Mr. Ackerman, asks for the safe return of his glass eye. When no one volunteers, Rimmer rats out a large inmate and is beaten up for breaking the silent law of the jail. As they reutrn to their cells, Kryten stops to tidy up some litter and is attacked with a blunt object.
    During their Wednesday B-Movie night, the screen is taken over by a pay-per-view event, Krytie TV's Shower Night. Lister and Rimmer are certain that Kryten was reprogrammed, and that they should leave...and they almost do. Then Kochanski becomes the featured model for awhile and their eyes don't leave the screen. The next morning, Lister visits Krytie with info on how to undo the programming and finds Kryten a rich pimp. He gives Lister cash to not fix him and when Khris arrives, Kryten gives her *another* gift...a waterproof pogostick which he's certain will up (and down, and up) the ratings. Dave, disgusted with his friend, tells Kochanski about Shower Night and she gets pissed at both of them, but mostly at Dave for watching for THREE hours...Back in Lister's cell, Rimmer finds Dave writing an apology to Khristine, complete with flours (no, that's the correct spelling...he can't get flora, so he sends two bags of flour). Then Kryten enters their room, having been attacked by the women and reclassified as a man. Kryten tells Lister that Kochanski and her ex-boyfriend Tom are back together. Slyly, Krytie sends Dave to get revenge with a bag of dorky stuff to display in Tom's room...actually, the things belong to Rimmer (Morris Dancer Montly Magazine, goofy Underpants, and Christian Rock music). So, via a passage cleared by Kryten, Lister sneaks into Tom's apartment and trashes it. Meanwhile, Rimmer and the Cat are at movie night and find themselves watching Kryten laugh at Dave "You've Been Krytered!". Kryten wasn't fixed after the attack afterall, and he set Lister up...it wasn't Tom's room, it was Ackerman's. Limmer runs to help Dave (in order to save their appeal) and the pair manage to fix the suite in time. As they escape they catch sight of Kryten and chase him down.
    Lister gets his appeal back. The answer is positive. Due to his lack of violence and having no history of depression, he'll be allowed to have strings on his guitar. "What? Didn't think this was about getting out of here did you?"


    I'll tell you now. I really liked this episode! Krytie TV was hilarious. The whole appeal thing worked great, especially how it ended...the look Chris Barrie gave Craig Charles when Lister said he planned to thank immer with a song, was priceless!
Hmm...Five Stars Baby!

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