Episode 6: Pete (#1)


    Episode Six opens as Lister and Rimmer are escorted to the Captain's office (waaaay different from that in The End) where they are in trouble for a nasty prank played on on the warden, Ackerman. Their punishment is a game of basketball against Ackerman & his guards. Lister and Rimmer know that if they lose they'll be beaten repeatedly by Baxter, a burly bastard of an inmate who they become quite intimate with later ;). At the half-time, they are behind 48-3 but Arn & Dave have a plan. The opponants' half-time drinks are spiked with a Viagra-like substance that automatically gives a man a seven hour stiffy. Oy. Needless to say, they're a bit slowed down in the second half and as the inmate team (Lister, Rimmer, the Cat, Kochanski, and Kryten) trounces his guards, Hollister downs some tainted juice too...Next thing? Lister & Rimmer are back in the Captain's Office where he complains about the seven hour incident and sends them a new punishment...two weeks on potato detail.
    Bob, one of the loyal Skutters, brings Lister edible food as Rimmer chokes down his disgusting ship-issue meal. Rimmer asks if Bob could get them good vegatable peelers to use instead of knives they'll be issued for the job and Lister gets an idea. He knows of some programmable virii that they can make eat only the skins of the spuds, leaving the insides whole...Meanwhile, Kryten, Cat & Khristine are on a Canary Mission to locate two missing battalions. They do find the team, as well as a time wand, which they managed to smuggle back to Red Dwarf thinking it'll help their sentances pass in a nanosecond...Rimmer and Lister get the virus from oh-so-studly Bob and set it to work. Soon it eats away Rimmer's clothes and hair, then Lister's as well. Once again they end up in Hollister's office, this time completely nekkid & hairless (interesting salute here *wink*). The Captain threatens to send them into the Hole if he ever finds them in his office again. Rimmer shakes his hand and Hollister is infected with the virus. He goes into a frenzy as they eat his heair and sends them to the Hole for two months.
    In the dining hall, the Cat is attacked by Baxter and forces Krytie to use the Time Wand on Baxter & his cronies. Deep in the Hole, Lister and Rimmer meet Birdman and Pete, his 9 year old sparrow (which is actually nine in sparrow years too ;P). Soon, Bob is on the scene and saves them, leading them through the decks of frozen crew members to the docks where their pals await with a nice dinner. Kryten uses the wand to give Lister and Rimmer their hair back, but the excitement of freedom is too much for Pete, who dies. In order to prevent the Birdman from going mad, Kryten tries to rewind Pete's life to his strong, healthy years, but inadvertantly goes a few million years in evolution and they end up with a T-Rex running amok on the ship. There is an old Cat saying that seems appropo here..."We are all...gonna die." As if on cute, Pete swallows Birdman.


Pete part one? Pretty good :) I don't know what else to say in the review. I like the second part *much* better, so I'll just rate this and let you move on with your life.
I'm giving this episode three & a half stars!

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