Episode 8: Only The Good


    The last of the latest opens the following message;
Escape Pod from SS Hermes -
Ship destroyed by chamelenic mircrobe...er, chamelonic mykrobe...um, shape shifting weird space thing.
Non essential electricals down, including spell cheker.
Massage Ends.
    Six Hours Later...Captain Hollister is ill in bed and when the knock sound, he can't answer. Rimmer bursts in with some hot lemon and directives for Hollister to sign. After finding a paper that would exonerate Rimmer from all criminal acts, Capt. tells him he's not cut out for officerhood. Soon, a pretty lady enters the Captain's suite and Rimmer is jealous. On the way to his own room (he's on probation), Rimmer steals a candy bar from a machine who vows to get his revenge someday. Lister and Kryten have a heart-to-heart (yeah right) about Menstruation and Lister gives Krytie some advice for Khristine's time of the month. Later we see see Kochanski enter her room to see a large banner reading, "Have a Fantastic Period" and Kryten presents her with a gift-wrapped tampon. She politely tells him that he was set up for humiliation and they decide to get revenge on Dave.
    Lister and Rimmer are gooseberried by Holly, who tells them that there will be a cell inspection in 10 minutes. Seconds later they get a note from Kryten, then find a second. Kryten stole Baxter's illegeal hooch and hid it in their shower. They've got four jugs of the stuff, and only two manage to fit down the sink before it is full. Lister convinces him that they'll have to drink it, and each take a swig. Five minutes pass and Ackerman arrives to inspect. Both are sloshed and can barely get upright. Ackerman orders stomach pumps...super-suck. Later, Baxter tells Cat, Kochanski & Kryten that he knows who stole his hooch and that when the pair show up again he'll destroy 'em. Immediately Kryten and Kochanski manage to get themselves hospitalized (where the security is lax and breaking out will be easier), but Cat has some trouble. He tries to pick a fight with a nasty brute, but the guy would rather be Cat's bitch than fight him...so instead the Cat goes in drag as a nurse to help the posse escape. Once in the docking bay they realize that the pod brought a corrosive virus to the ship and its eating away at everything. Sacrificing their escape, the Dwarfers tell the crew of the problem and the officers get into pods and leave. With no other methods available, they create a prism machine which will allow them to go into a mirror-world and find the virus' antidote (opposite of the virus). In Mirror land, Rimmer (the first to cross...then the machine malfunctions, trapping him alone in the strange world) is Captain and Hollister is the wussy loser who wants to get pardoned & become an officer. Just as Hollister treated him, Rimmer is a jerk to Hollister, telling him he's no good. Then the lady returns, and Rimmer sends Hollister away, giving the woman a "big wet snog with oodles of tommy tongue"....unfortunately, she's his sister...er, Sister Talia Garret, his spiritual advisor. Ugh! No longer distracted by body parts that have gone opposite (from small to...dear Lord is that possible?!), Rimmer goes in search of the formula and finds that Cat is a professor and Kochanski is a blonde bimbo in this world. When he returns to the original Red Dwarf, the guys are gone and the ship is deteriorating fast. The machine he stole from gets a good laugh, telling Rimmer that the piece of paper on which the formula is written is useless, because in this world it has reverted to the virus. The machine belt Arnie in the head and suddenly, Death appears to take him to the River Styx. Not today, only the *good* die young! Rimmer knees the Grim Reaper in the groin and runs away.

The End

The Smeg It Is!


    Yeah. Except for leaving us on a cliff-hanger that'll last until either series nine arrives, OR a movie is released...this episode rocked. Rimmer rocks :) Luv the ending ;) Well...more virii...I noticed waaaaaay too many of those in this series, but what the heck? It works for them. Can't wait for the next installment. Until then, signing off!
Episode 8? Five Stars!

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